Garbage Disposal Cookies

A few nights ago, my uterus was all, "Hey! Mom! We want cookies and salty snacks and chocolate and EVERYTHING."

Is it weird that my uterus calls me mom? I mean, my cats call me mom, but that's different.

Anyway.

Ask, little uterus, and you shall receive. Let's make some garbage disposal cookies.

I made mine with liquid stevia because I can't handle a lot of sugar. I figured the sugar in the molasses, chocolate chips, and marshmallows was plenty for me. I haven't tried the sugar version of the recipe because I don't want to freak out and feel like shit and have to nap for six hours. Please let me know if you try it, and if 2 teaspoons is too much or too little and I'll adjust the note.

Garbage Disposal Cookies (vegan, gluten-free option, low-sugar option)
Makes 6-8 small cookies. Recipe can easily be doubled.
printable recipe

1 tsp ground flax seed mixed with 1 Tbsp water

1/4 cup quick-cooking oats
1/4 cup flour of your choice (I used 2 Tbsp teff flour + 2 Tbsp sorghum flour)
1/2 Tbsp fresh, finely ground coffee (crappy coffee is fine in these, just NOT instant coffee)
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp sea salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger, cardamom, allspice, more cinnamon, or any other spice you love

1 Tbsp melted Earth Balance (or oil of your choice)
3 Tbsp unsweetened almond milk (soy, rice, or coconut would work, too)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
25-30 drops liquid stevia (or 2 tsp sugar)
1 Tbsp molasses (optional, but DELICIOUS)

1 Tbsp mini chocolate chips
1 Tbsp toasted coconut (or nuts, raisins, potato chips, cereal, peanut butter chips, etc.)
2 Tbsp broken up mini pretzels (about 4 pretzels, use gf pretzels if you need to!)
2 Dandies marshmallows, chopped into small pieces

Preheat your oven to 350º. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a small bowl, combine the flax and water. Set it aside.

Whisk your dry ingredients together in a medium bowl. Set that aside.

Measure your fillers into a small bowl and set aside. I found it easier to cut up the marshmallows and add them to the dry ingredients so they didn't all just stick together in the bowl o' fillers.

Combine wet ingredients in a small bowl. Add the wet mixture to the dry ingredients and stir until it's nicely combined. Fold in your fillers (chocolate chips and all that). Scoop the batter on to your lined cookie sheet by heaping tablespoons. Flatten each cookie just a bit.

Bake the cookies for 8-10 minutes. Let these cool on the cookie sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack, otherwise marshmallows will stick and it will be sad. Cookies will be fluffy and muffin-like and you'll probably eat them all in one sitting.

Shit. I just had an idea. I'm going to make banana "ice cream" and make ice cream sandwiches with these. Maybe with a little peanut butter mixed in there. THANKS, UTERUS.

Are you going to make these? What are you going to put in them? Can I come over if I promise to bring champagne?

Burritooooooo!

(Please read the title in Beavis's voice. Kthx.)

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but this is worth it. The lovely Janessa at Epicurious Vegan is having a contest. A burrito contest! This is probably my last chance at scoring a ticket to Vida Vegan Con since I'm lame and didn't grab a ticket before it sold out. Cross your fingers for me!

So, here she is. The Vegan Dessert Burrito.


Yes, really. Warm cinnamon and chili apples wrapped in a cinnamon sugar glazed tortilla, topped with vanilla So Delicious ice cream, drizzled with homemade dulce de leche (HOLY SHIT.) and sprinkled with coconut.

For the dulce de leche, I halved a recipe I found at Innocent Primate, and used So Delicious vanilla coconut milk in place of the hemp milk. I was naughty and didn't stir my sauce as frequently as recommended because I was peeling apples and stuff. It was fine.


Once your sauce is simmering nicely, prepare the apple filling. You will need:

• 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and cut into bite-sized pieces
  
• 1 c water
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/8 to 1/4 tsp chili powder
• 3 star anise... pieces? cloves? What are these called?
• 1/4 c brown sugar
• pinch of salt
• 1 tsp lemon juice

Simmer the apple chunks, cinnamon, chili powder and anise in the water on medium heat until apples are fork-tender. Use a slotted spoon to scoop the apples out of the liquid and set aside.


Measure out 1/4 c of the remaining liquid and discard the rest. Mix the 1/4 c liquid, brown sugar, salt and lemon juice and cook over low heat. Stir frequently. Bring it to a simmer, then add apples and remove from heat.

Your apple mixture should be done around the same time as your dulce de leche. When these are ready, it's time to fry up a tortilla. I used some sort of super healthy high-fiber whole wheat tortilla because I'm watching what I eat. Ha.

For the cinnamon sugar tortilla, melt 1/2 tsp Earth Balance in a skillet over medium heat. when it's nice and bubbly, add your tortilla. Cook 1-2 minutes, then flip it. Sprinkle cinnamon sugar over the glistening tortilla, then remove from heat, flip, and sprinkle cinnamon sugar over the other side.

Time to assemble your burrito! Place a few scoops of ice cream down the middle of your tortilla. So Delicious vanilla coconut milk ice cream was perfect for this. Spoon warm apples and their sauce over the ice cream. Roll that baby up and put it on your plate. Drizzle more of the apple syrup over the burrito, like green chili, only awesomer. Plop a scoop of ice cream on top, then drizzle the whole thing with the caramely dulce de leche. I recommend using a lot because it's freaking yummy. Sprinkle with shredded coconut. Now, EAT IT.


I would definitely make one of these again, but I would probably toast the coconut, and I'd want two or three people to share the burrito with me. I only got through about a third of it. Don't think I couldn't easily finish the whole thing myself, of course. I'm just working on practicing that one thing. You know. It's called, um, self-something. Self... control? Yeah! That's the stuff!